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A Holy Tension

A holy tension...the realization that now that you have taken a step, you are not the same. You are home, but the pieces don't fit.

Getting on a plane home is easy. You sit and it moves you. But what about if a part of you is left behind? What if you aren't the same person who first stepped on that plane?

It is the getting back to daily living that is hard. It seems so wrong - weren't you just with me? Wasn't I just there? Our eyes are filled with the faces of dear friends and shadows and light on green quilted fields. I hear church bells, chickens clucking, music playing a few floors up and voices calling out.   I see the castle tower on a blue sky, the rustic red "Christian Bookstore" sign, the overly-hacked garden where hours were spent turning over the soil and making way for new growth, the arches and doorways and worn wooden stairs. I sense the coming and going and constant activity. Hurlach Castle is in our memories - and hopefully those seeds sown there will yield their fruit in due season.

We received a devotional journal for reflection upon returning home. The writers of this book know what they are talking about. They seemed to have nailed it on the head as to what we are experiencing:

"Before your trip, your wealth might have been taken for granted like sand through the fingers...You saw hope placed in things instead of in the Maker of those things. And in the process of this tension, a new community of worshipers developed on your journey as you worked together with others and served cross-culturally. Tuck this tension deep into your heart...Let the spiritual struggle and pain come as a special guest into your heart and let God mold it to be more like Christ's heart." (Reflect Mission Trip Devotional Journal)

I've already sensed that no one can really understand what it was like except those we were with in Germany. And that's okay. That is the way God meant it to be.

And I have hope - the same God who called and sent and provided and came down among us to cause us to open our hearts, that same God is now with you where you are. And He will lead you on.

" I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart..."

Philippians 1:3-7

Last Moments

We have less than 24 hours to be in Germany!

Happy Birthday Emily

Emily turned 17 today! While most kids might miss being in their own country on their birthday, Emily relished it. She got a very strange singing this morning at breakfast with "Happy Birthday"in several languages. Tonight she had an amazing looking German cake we shared with the staff and kids. 

Ywam Servants - so dear to us

Tonight we had another surprise from our YWAM dear ones - a barbecue and special candies to say thank you. I didn't have time to blog about other Ywam staffers we met: Ermi, Matthias and their three children , the Ethiopian girls - Leona, Lydia and Abby, Nigerian Ken Paul or our Jamaican friend Nick. There's also See Yuen from Malaysia and JP and Susan from India. There were a few more staff members who kept popping in and out during our time of service. They are all special people called by Him! We celebrate this ministry God had given. All are living by faith and dreaming His dreams.

Renall

How does a man from Cook Islands end up in Germany? Through the Lord's mercy. Renall looks like he should be on a surfboard somewhere but he serves faithfully at Hurlach Castle. He has been here 10 years. If he wanted to go home, he would have to fly 30 hours (without a layover). The airline ticket would be over $2000 for one person. For his family, that means about $12,000. And he is a missionary. He has done this - but not very often.

His wife is German and they have 3 kids - ages 6,4, and 2. In addition to being a worship leader at the base, he coordinates many of the activities on the ground and sees to the needs of the staff.

He gets a glimmer in his eye as he relates that his island used to be cannibals. Finally, a Tahitian missionary came to his island. The warriors lined up with spears and face paint, looking fierce. The missionary could have given up. Instead they say he tied a Bible to his head and swam ashore.

Little did he know God had paved the way. Those cannibals had been given a prophecy that said someone would come to their island with the truth from the west. The Chief of his tribe immediately converted, along with the rest of the village.

Renall said when he gets to heaven he is going to thank that guy. This is what happens when someone follows God and does not compromise on what God is telling him to do. Follow God fully. A nation's future may depend on it.

The Cross

Leaving the castle, we followed along the flat country road boarded by wheat field and evergreens. A dusty tractor motored by and the sun gently touched our brows. We were being led by Sokol, a longtime Albanian staff member. He had a surprise for us.

We came to a tree with a bench and flowers in it. Over the bench was a large crucifix. This is definitely something we don't see in America but in Bavaria it is common for a farmer to have a crucifix at such a scene.

"What is the significance of the crucifix?" Sokol asks, "It says that this is the most important moment in history. Jesus died in our place and changed everything. We can bed close to God."

"I wandered one time into this field. There were troubles at the castle - relationship troubles. I was overwhelmed. I had moment of transformation as I prayed to the Lord for help and put my hands on cross. I remembered Jesus was abandoned by all, even his 3 friends when asked to pray for him went to sleep."

"It was like God spoke to me that it would be alright. He would be there for me."

"Sometimes we may think of the crucifix here as a good luck charm, maybe for crops to grow, but at the heart it must mean more. It must mean someone thought this was the most important thing in history. This is the most important focus on in life. This Jesus dying in the cross is worthy of our attention."

Aruna

Tonight we heard from Aruna, a soft spoken but earnest young woman from India:

It's a great privilege to share about my life with you all. I grew up in Christian family, a brother, 2 sisters and parents back in India. Even though I was in a Christian family I did not know Jesus. I just knew there was Jesus Christ but not a personal relationship.

In India, there are many gods. When I have my exams I pray to all gods and to Jesus also. Somehow through some visiting Americans preaching the gospel I heard the gospel. I did not give my life to Jesus but my whole family was saved. A friend of my mother's would have fellowship with us, try to read the bible and say things to me. I would see my family praying together. My sister gave her life to Jesus, got married and started a ministry somewhere else. They invited a prophetic evangelist. God showed me through this the message of salvation. I gave my life to Jesus. I realised he is the only saviour. I got baptized that day. I was around 14 years old.

God had been faithfully guiding me. My other sister three years older than me became so passionate for God. She joined the YWAM team. She started telling me to go to YWAM.

I did my degree in microbiology and education. With that same pastor that prayed 12 years earlier, he called on me and told me God wants you to take a step and give your life to Him. I was involved then in the church in every way so I was telling God, I am already working completely in every way.

I started praying and saving my money. I finally applied for YWAM. I got accepted. I wasn't sure my parents would allow this, but I wanted to obey God. I asked Him to convince my parents. My siblings helped convince them. God provided all my fees.

Afterwards I was going to go back home. I knew YWAM has so much freedom and richness in the way you can decide to serve God. My parents had their own expectations. I just wanted to keep going in the calling He had for me.

The YWAM School of worldview came up. I applied for visa and everything went fine. I completed my school and really didn't want to go back to India. It was a great miracle that I got a two-year visa. I asked God what is next? I decided I wanted to take a preschool ministry to India. U want to show the seed and foundation in little kids lives. God put it in my heart.

I am now getting my degree in early childhood education in Switzerland. I have an internship left to do. I have started a program already in India called "From the Beginning." I also started a seminar for pregnant mothers. My brother in law and sister and running this program now. We reach many children and orphans there.

Be open. God had more for you. Don't limit yourself!

Scrips and Scraps

Germans are crazy about recycling, but they have to watch that they don't go over their limit of trash. Sometimes they have to pile up their recyclables because it is too expensive to take in.

German time: On time! They are hard workers, but we have coffee break at 10:30, lunch promptly at 12:30 till 1:30, break at 3, end at 5.

We have a cold meal at breakfast and dinner and hot meal for lunch. Bread, bread and more bread! Milk in coffee, not cream.

Taking about Mexico's siesta, Niko pronounced "Germans don't take naps!"

Homeschooling is illegal in Germany. They are starting kids in school at earlier and earlier ages. Recently some homeschool fathers spent 3 months in jail.

Trusting With All Your Heart

Ruslan has become a honorary member of our team. Every day we drive with him or work with him on projects including painting the "dungeon" or sandblasting the volleyball court. We won't talk about how fast he drives... or the chicken he ran into on the road today....suffice it to say he is a wild man!

Ruslan means "russian" in German - ironically though Ruslan is from Ukraine. He came here first to do discipleship training with YWAM. His parents followed, coming as missionaries to Russians here.

Ruslan shared about how Christ became central in His life:

I had one birthday when I turned 17, I asked my father for money to celebrate. He didn't give it to me.  I was so mad at him, I got drunk and was throwing up for hours. At that time,  I really hated myself. I grew up in church, but had an idea I might be missing out on something.

There was a conference at that time where I started learning about God and there I really received God in my life. Even my best friend saw me and said I was different. I got excited about prayer and going to church. I started doing basketball through my church. We would pray and then play. There was one guy who prayed for me and said I would be a missionary. I just didn't think about that.

My dad asked me if I wanted to do a discipleship training at YWAM. I had to get passport and visa.I needed 8 weeks and after this I got passport and visa in 2 weeks. It showed me that God opens doors wherever you go.

When I came to Germany, I couldn't speak English with the staff here.They err even thinking to send me home. There was a guy here who was in Kazakhstan and he was always translating for me. I went to Ethiopia and I needed to preach in a prison. The Holy Spirit really moved me. I told stories. I didn't even think about it, I just spoke. I didn't have money.I washed my clothes by hand. When I was in Ethiopia, I wanted to buy some things. God answered my prayers every time.

When I got back, I could speak English better. School was going to finish and I had no mney. We have a gift night here in the castle. I got so many things like clothes. I kept seeing God take care of me. He takes care of us, even more than parents. I see every day how God provides for me. I get car,  I get clothes and what I need.

When you get home you can share a lot to your friends about how you saw things. I always say you can't put God in a box. I am working here for four years in maintenance and also with kids coming to our youth group. I am going to Bible school in the fall here.

Trust in God for everything. Ask him why he put you here. Don't worry about things.Trust him with everything. You don't know how long you will have money or food but you will have God.

I wanted to do a Bible school in Ukraine. It was in Russian and I thought that would be good for me.it wasnt working out. Now I can see there is a school operating here soon. It is working out for me the way it should. You should write down when God speaks to you. You should remember every thing He says to you. Don't be scared of ups and downs. I have more than I need. Trust him in all your ways He will direct your path.

pictured is team member Joe and Ruslan

Niko Cafe

Thanks to Jen and Niko, we had a little German cafe tonight! We sampled many appetizers and cookies. One highlight is the famous "white sausage" Germans only eat for breakfast! Niko was definitely in his element, making people happy with food!

Sarah

I had a great time talking with Sarah from Nigeria on the train to Dachau. She is the youngest of seven (like me!) and grew up in Lagos (not like me!). She was always close to her father - he died when she was 21. Her mom was the believer in her family. Dad finally came to Christ after 36 years.

She is a "mover and shaker," really set on building God's kingdom. She described spending 6 weeks in Amsterdam and her desire to be a part of counseling victims of trafficking. She says she does not have the "gift of mercy"and is more like a prophet. In other words, she tells it like it is!

God used Sarah in a special way by ministering one-to-one with a girl on our team. She has a way of speaking into other's lives with truth.

What does the future hold for her? She is holding on to God's promises. She has so many contacts in other countries from Australia to Amsterdam, you might find her anywhere jumping in to help and give. She is trusting God for her financial support to minister, which she admits sometimes feels like a rollercoaster - but God will provide.

She knows she is strong-willed, laughingly telling me that when God does bring the perfect match for her, he'd better be "comfortable in his own skin" because she needs someone who will hold their ground.

I just loved spending the day with her and the rest of our team. This girl is going places!

Pictured is Sarah with our team leader, Susan.

Dachau

In the Dachau concentration camp there were a total of 206k prisoners over 12 years. Eight thousand were women, some  brought as prostitutes. Prisoners would come by train and pass through those iconic gates with the lie written on them, "work makes free." Work does not make free, only death made free for most who came there.

We stepped into a large gravel courtyard. This is the place where they would have a roll call several times a day. The longest recorded roll call was12 hours. The prisoners were required to stand with both hands by their sides. Sometimes guards poured water on them in winter,  beat them or hung them from trees. Anything could be a reason to punish the prisoner or even the whole group.

Dachau was a work camp and not an extermination camp. When prisoners became too sick to work, sometimes they were sent to these extermination camps. There were actually 7 mothers and babies here on liberation day. These babies became the youngest survivors of the Holocaust.

Dachau was actually used as a refugee camp after the war. We stepped into the barracks which showed the type of bunks, three-high, the people lived in. After the war the barracks were converted to shops, school, etc as refugees lived here while Europe was resettled. After that time, the barracks were torn down. Two were reconstructed for the memorial while the foundations of the other barracks still stand.

Prisoners had to put in 12 hours a day of work. Average prisoner weight in 1940´s was 80 pounds. Four prisoners were in a bunk in later years. They were so small they could fit. Typhus broke out one year and in such small spaces spread quickly.

When the Allies liberated the camp in April 1945, there were 34k people. 2k died in first few weeks. Eating normal food again killed many. In last years 400 lived in one room meant for 150. In the washroom were12 toilets for 800 prisoners. Of course, to degrade even more, there was no privacy anywhere.

The guard towers circled the camp along with the fence. Anyone who put their foot on the grass near the fence was shot.The fence was a good way to commit suicide. A barrier of barbed wire, followed by a cement ditch, more barbed wire and another fence policed by dogs, followed by the last wall.

In 12 years, only one prisoner escaped. He was a prominent communist that the guards kept coaxing to commit suicide. He decided to just escape since he would die anyway. He went under the fence and found someone who would keep him and get documents for him. 32k died here but 120k taken to other camps. Hard to tell how many survived in total.

1933-39 500 died
1940-45  31,500 died

We toured the fence and headed for the crematorium. This was the hardest to take in. The dead were cremated so their graves could not become a demonstration place. There was a gas chamber built at Dachau but it may not have been used. We saw the huge disinfection chambers for the clothes of the dead. We entered the small room where 150 people at a time would have disrobed, unaware that the shower would end their life. The Nazis did this to avoid any panic. They even outfitted the shower with fake shower heads. We stood in this room and saw the grates where poison gas would have come through.

As we entered, a man was singing or kind of moaning, sitting on a nearby bench. His moan was in another language but seemed to be kind of a prayer. A statue of a haggard, bald, thin man in a coat explains "we built this to remember, and that such evil would never again be repeated."

Most were Jews in this camp, but we also saw the cells of special prisoners who were Christians - mainly clergy. One thousand priests died here. We stopped outside of cell 31. It was here Martin Niemlerr, a contemporary of  Dietrich Bonnhoeffer was imprisoned. I imagined the prayers. I imagined the hours staring out those windows. Did the men whisper to each other? What did they hear every day? Guards, dogs barking,  marching boots on that gravel, even birds stubbornly singing? What kind of comfort did the Lord send them? I make it a goal to read the memoirs. Many of the prisoners had secret diaries.

There was the incredible story of one man who actually was released to go home for 2 weeks to Luxembourg because his father died. Why would any return? The answer - the guards told him they would kill all prisoners from Luxembourg. He returned.

The Holocaust is a story of unfathomable evil - hard to wrap your mind around.  It was not only about winning a war, not about simply eliminating undesirables but a wretched fiendishness that maimed physically and mentally, that drove to torture and dehumanize what God holds sacred.

One of our kids said simply both the prisoners and guards were imprisoned. The question is always asked, how could the guards do such things? The insipid route to full compliance and participation is filled with fear and brainwashing. Hundreds of Jews would be standing on the platform while only a few guards attended. We wonder at the submission and fearof those being herded. Could they have overtaken them?

At our debrief, we could say there may be a time we have to give our lives to stop injustice. There may be a time we die for our faith. You have to have your mind made up.

There was a heaviness to stand on this ground. The suicide rate even today is unusually high in Dachau. There are 10 Carmelite nuns who live in the wall just outside of Dachau. Their days are spent in silent prayer. There are three churches and one temple nearby. Faith springs up in the wreckage as in the aftermath of destruction.

The blood still cries out for the lives spent here. The prayer rises up to heaven: never forget and never again.

Munich Postcard

Our trip to Munich highlights: the clean, fast and efficient train, the "glockenspiel" on the Marienplatz, the eatery at the Hofbrauhaus and the beautiful Frauenkirche.

Neufschwanstein Day

We had an amazing time!